The Turtle

The little boy stared at the pond the clear water he saw the fishes swimming the turtle lay dormant at the bottom   He licked his lolly the rainbow colored treat scrumptious and sweet he looked into the pond the fish were gone   the turtle looked at the boy “Why have you no bread?”…

Ask Brent: Phones, Neighbors

Jarvis asks: I’m not sure about how phones work. How do they work? Also, why are my neighbors so rude? A very good question, Jarvis. Phones actually make use of a special government technology called ‘squidging’ to function.  Squidging was first developed in 1967 by a Polish scientist named Nicolli Reznikoff in an attempt to create a…

Murder on the Train

Chug a chug a chug a Chug a chug a Choo choo The whistle sounded The train rolled along The coal pouring in The smoke coming out The train pierced the cold wind like a knife in the dark Then the conductor heard a scream and a gunshot He ran through the carriages until he saw him…

The Monkey’s Tail

It was dark, and the earth quaked. The ground was cracked The Monkey’s tail was severed blood rushed from the hole   I lifted it by the scruff of the neck it shrieked I cast it to the ground in horror it clawed at my legs I cut its throat with my dagger   Under…

The Harlot under the Bridge

The harlot under the bridge Offered herself to me We made love Under the bridge As the homeless men watched I remember how she moaned And how the fish in the river Came to watch To this day I have always kept fish as pets

Memoir: High School Football

My sophomore year in high school I tried out for football.  After the first practice, most of the boys said, “Who’s the fairy?”  And I was like, “No, dudes, I’m one of you!  I’m playing football!”  Soon I learned from the coaches that my only duty was to bring down the water jugs before practice…

Mary Poppins

Beloved nanny of many a 19th Century London children was arrested on Thursday for her flying while under the influence. Pilots landing at London’s Heathrow airport reported seeing a lady floating aimlessly through the sky while carrying an umbrella. The RAF requested several times over radio for the flying women to identify herself or risk…