The Smoking Man

He took a puff of his cigarillo and walked up to the line and took his place He looked to his left at the man who always stood next to him every day and simply nodded he glanced down a caught a glimpse of the great serpent it spat yellow venom. He zipped his trousers,…

Ask Brent: IT

I watched IT this weekend so I wouldn’t have to go to my son’s parole hearing.  And though he was ultimately not granted parole, I did learn a lot about what constitutes a “bathing suit” according to AMC’s “theater-goer rules and regulations.” Now, as far as how it compares to the original, I honestly have…

A Conversation with a Brit

Brit:   Which side is the right side? Me:    The right side. B:    Yeah. M:   No, the right side is the right side. B:    Yeah, of course I know that, but which side? M:   The right one. B:    Yeah, which is the right one? M:   You just said which one. B:   …

Oh, how few the Righteous are

Oh, how few the Righteous are. Few in number, small in stature, They compare us to those from afar, Not knowing how they face disaster. Oh, how few the Righteous are. Owing not to minimal effort, But instead to a platform most bizarre, And a failure of each endeavor. Oh, how few the Righteous are,…

Zebras: Cocky Horses

A recent investigation by the Equestrian Society in Fresno, California, found that zebras are actually just horses, but just super pretentious about it. “Yeah, they have, like, the same genetic makeup and everything, they just think they’re better than everybody else,” said researcher Kyle McLannahan, an avid horse-enthusiast. “They prance around like they own the…

Books: Weapons of the Enemy?

Since the beginning of time, books have been used to confuse and manipulate the weak and the simple-minded. Take the Bible, for example.  It is and has always been the worldwide best-seller.  Why?  Is the writing particularly good?  Any fourth-grader will tell you otherwise.  Does it elicit any sense of self-understanding or emotional enlightenment?  Clearly…