The mainstream media questioned our President’s claim of a terrorist attack in Sweden carried out by ISIS militants. The President was reportedly in shock over the media’s absolute denial of an attack that killed 23 people and wounded 42 others. The terrorists attacked a Swedish dance hall in the capital city of Stockholm Friday night at 2 AM, Swedish time. Attackers shot and killed two bouncers outside the dance hall and proceeded into the 26th annual Traditional Swedish Dance and Death Metal Fusion where attendees ballroom danced to the tunes of “Bloodbath” and “Attackers.”
Hjalmar Graysson, the organizer of the event, called the attack carried out by the attacking party an “attack on all that we hold dear.” Stockholm Police responded by attacking the formerly attacking parties who proceeded to become the defending parties after having no longer been the attacking as they were under attack by new attackers, the “Stockholm Attack Response Attackers in Defense of the Attacked.” The now-defending parties resumed their attack on the attacked party who previously were enjoying the music of “Attackers” and became attackers of the attacked, but defenders of the attackers in defense of the attacked. The attacking partners attacked one another such that they each became attacker and defender to each other relative to the opposite attacking party. The original party of attackers and former defenders and current attackers to the attackers in defense of the attacked who came under attack by attackers, not to be confused the “Attackers,” whom they had previously been listening to whilst they were attacked, were not immediately killed in the attack carried out by the party of attackers in defense of those originally attacked. Attacks were exchanged between the attackers and defenders and new attackers until all attackers—not to be confused with those who attacked the attacking party—had been killed. The tertiary party of attackers were hailed as heroes by family members of the attacked who, in a joint statement, called them “attackers against those who attacked the now under-attack party.”
Mayor of Stockholm, Michael Gelfand, called Friday’s attack “a tragedy of monumental size,” and criticized the attackers as attackers of all Swedish attacked citizens and defenders of the attacked.
ISIS claimed responsibility in a post to YouTube. The content of the video has been translated by The Colomen‘s in-house expert on parties attacking, previously attacking, attacking in defense of the attacked, attackers made defenders due to the attack in defense of the attack, below:
“We claim responsibility for the attack carried out by attackers towards the attacked party previously listening to “Attackers,” but not the sound of the originally attacking party who were near silent before their attack, but the famous “Attackers” the attacked were enjoying. The party of attackers to the now-attacked party attacked the party that fell under attack by the attackers were actually attackers from our soil. The attacked who attacked our attackers because of the now-attacking party’s way of live are infidels and attackers are justified in attacking the attacked who attacked the attacked but in subverted way and not in an all-out attack, such as the one carried out by the attackers, but in more subtle forms of attacker. The attackers were then attacked by “Attackers” in defense of the now-attackers but technically defenders. The attackers of the attackers and defenders against the attackers in defense of the attacked were true heroes and their attack on the attackers of the current attacker and their defense against the attackers in defense of those participating in the attack elsewhere against the attackers attacking the attacked will always be remembered by the rest of the attackers of the attackers who did not participate in the attack against the attackers and defense against the attacking party who attacked in defense of the the attacking party. GOD IS GREAT.”
All of the attackers were killed in the attack.