CONFIRMED: Bernie Sanders Is A Russian Spy

Everyone knows about U.S. Senator and Vermont native Bernie Sanders’ ridiculous socialist ideals. These beliefs make so little sense that when Senator Sanders speaks, it might as well be in Russian for all we understand. Breaking news out of Moscow today shows us that this could actually be true.

The Colomen Investigative reporter Martin Desormeaux was present at a press conference in the Kremlin yesterday where Putin discussed the American Senator.

В то время как его взгляды похожи на матушке России, Берни Сандерс еще и американская свинья, который заслуживает того, чтобы умереть, Bernie Sanders когда мы опускаем атомную бомбу на Вашингтон вместе в ближайшем будущем”

Although my Russian is spotty, the translations is something along the lines of “America… Bernie Sanders… Communist… Mother Russia Likey… Nukes… Something about Koalas?” The ellipses are segments of Putin’s original statement that I was unable to translate.

As seen in the translation of Putin’s address, Bernie Sanders is clearly a Communist pig who is working as a spy for the Russians. He is the real puppet for Russian President Vladimir Putin, not our tremendous Commander-in-Chief Donald J. Trump.

As more information about Senator Sanders’ treasonous relationship with the Russians comes to light, let us rejoice that he was defeated by none other than Crooked Hillary, the definition of twistedness and corruption itself.

Imagine if that filthy red had the nuclear codes…



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