Kim Jong Un Updates Workout Regimen So His “Flexing” Is More Effective

It seems that almost every week North Korea is testing another nuclear bomb. The funny thing is, nobody seems to care.

Various reports out of North Korea have shown that the lack of intimidation among other world powers really hits home with Kim Jong Un. In an interview with Richard Rolando, a freelance reporter for The Colomen currently reporting (being held hostage) in North Korea, the dictator said: “All I want is attention, and when they ignore me, it makes me want to drop some of these freaking nukes on those bastards.”

Since his current flexing has had no apparent effect on anyone, Kim Jong Un has acquired the help of acclaimed personal trainer and former The Colomen fitness correspondent, Juliana Pizchek. In an exclusive interview with The Colomen, Ms. Pizchek stated that “we only train arms, pecs, and abs, because those are the most well-known muscle groups and the most important for physical intimidation.”

Apparently the small dictator believes that increasing his physical muscle mass will make his political flexing more effective. According to initial reporting from our Asian correspondents, Kim Jong Un plans to take his shirt off and do the famous Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson pec bounce and flex his biceps on camera next time he brags about North Korea’s nuclear capabilities, in the hopes that foreign powers will find the news more intimidating.

We think it’s a stretch.

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