Putin To Summit All G20 Members

The Kremlin released a statement yesterday claiming that Russian President Vladimir Putin, would be the first world leader to summit all of the G20 members. The announcement comes after days of extreme scrutiny towards Russia whose connections with American President have raised many eyebrows.

The Russian president is known for his theatrics. A shirtless Vlad has become ubiquitous on late night programming in the Western media. His outdoor adventures are thought to be a way for him to convey his “masculine superiority” to other world leaders. Some wear mom jeans, others have black belts in Judo. Putin experts say, by summitting world leaders he hopes to reassert his dominance in the geopolitical sphere.

When asked about his upcoming trip, Putin was poised. He broke into a smile and leaned back in his chair. “As you know, Russia has faced much criticism from the West. This will offer Russia an opportunity to rekindle relationships with other Global leaders.”

Expert summiteers say that Putin’s deed will be hard to match. Steve Arey, the self titled expert on summits claims that to outdo Putin at his own game is difficult. “A world leader would have to summit the entire UN Security Council, while it is in session, to really show Putin who’s boss.”

When asked which country’s world leader he was most looking forward to summiting he replied “Angela Merkel. She is a wonderful lady and there is so much bad blood between Russia and Germany. I hope my outreach will lay the seeds of an alliance. Although if Marie Le Pen wins her election I may have to recant my previous statement.”

The announcement was met with mixed emotions. Justin Trudeau was ecstatic. “Ooh, I just Loooove my dear Vladimir, Oh Vladimir where for art thou Vladimir.” While Chinese President Xi Jinping laughed at said that he, JinPing, would summit Vladistock before Putin had his summitting clothes on.  

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