Catfish: Cats or Fish?

It is widely known that cats have a strong dislike for water. When you throw water at them they run. I conduct an empirical study of this hypothesis using a glass of water, and my cat. The results further confirmed my hypothesis. In three trials, when water was dropped from my water glass onto my cat, he moved out from under the falling water. While these results are not shocking, they got me thinking, what about catfish? Catfish, the cats that LIVE in water!! Are they happy? Do they envy real cats and wish to walk on land? I didn’t know.

I reached out to biologist, Kathleen Turner, at the American Institute of Fish. Kathleen told me that freshwater fish live in water without salt, WOW! Catfish are freshwater fish, which means they live in streams and ponds. I go swimming in ponds, but I’ve never seen a catfish in a pond, only at the aquarium. Kathleen told me that catfish are descendants from cats that didn’t like land. When cats get tired of being cats on land they go to the water to become catfish. This is the same process that occurs when humans become Mermaids.

Kathleen said that, “Because cats don’t like water, when a cat likes water, they feel out of place, so they become catfish so they can be happy.”

I told Kathleen that my cat eats cat food. I asked her if catfish eat catfish food. She said yes, WOW! I wonder what catfish food tastes like, better than cat food I hope. My friend said cat food tastes like Cheerios, I like Cheerios. I tasted cat food with milk, it did NOT taste like Cheerios, I don’t like cat food.

I will go swimming in a pond to find some catfish, but I can’t stay in long for fear that I will turn to a Mermaid.

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