BREAKING NEWS: Paul Ryan Used Obamacare

Earlier this weekend, a report revealed that President Trump had instructed the Federal Bureau of Investigations to “tap Mr. Ryan’s wires”. After two days, the F.B.I investigators reported compromising information that was found on Speaker Ryan.

A statement put out by Press Secretary Sean Spicer states,”We are looking into all angles of this ongoing case and the President has been notified of the new circumstances.”

A separate memo sent out by the FBI Investigator in charge, Luis Gonzalez, was leaked, and it goes on to state, “After obtaining a warrant for the tapping of Mr. Ryan’s wires, we obtained the information needed in less than two days. It was made clear through the collection of emails on his private server, phone calls, and photographs, that Mr. Ryan was in fact using Obamacare to help pay for the costs of his mouth HPV that he has been trying to treat for many months. In addition to this, we found he had helped a friend, who shall remain nameless, to get Obamacare and she had used her insurance to receive an abortion from Planned Parenthood.”

We have not been able to reach Mr. Ryan for a statement but will be updating this story when more information becomes available.

However, as of now, it is clear that Mr. Ryan has been deceiving the American public about Obamacare. It also seems increasingly likely that Mr. Ryan has been having an affair, and may have impregnated his mistress.

Mr. Ryan has always been a sketchy character, and this new information simply proves that even more.

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