Our Errant Ways: A New Series From The Illuminator

To the Reader: The Colomen prides itself with being a source for information and analysis of the highest quality. It brings you poems, news, and everything in between. I, the Illuminator am proud to announce a series, of a philosophic nature, examining the world, be it economic or politics, physics or sociology, I want to bring you a thought that goes beyond the fake news … Continue reading Our Errant Ways: A New Series From The Illuminator

Trump to Declare War on Hurricanes

In an bill submitted today to the Foreign Relations House Committee by Rep. Smithson (R-Texas) contained the outline for President Trump declaration of War on Hurricanes. According to sources familiar with the matter Trump was influenced by similar declarations of war on ambiguous concepts such as LBJ’s War on Poverty and Liberal’s War on Christmas. The bill, which will be read tomorrow, allocates 750 billion … Continue reading Trump to Declare War on Hurricanes

The Implications of Independence

We here at the Colomen were shocked when we learned that Catalonia had voted in favor of independence. Independence is a natural progression in all our lives and of all organism, whether biological or political. Whether it is an adolescent’s exit from the home of his/her progenitors or the type of referendum we see taking place in Kurdistan and Catalonia. What if this type of … Continue reading The Implications of Independence

The U.N. General Assembly: A Lesson In Pussyfooting

At the end of the Second World War, the leaders of the Allies recognized the need for a strong, authoritative international body to resolve interstate disputes. From the ashes of the world these men rose the United Nations, an organization more revered than the name suggests. The United Nations was created for the express purpose of stopping the annihilation of life. In that sense it … Continue reading The U.N. General Assembly: A Lesson In Pussyfooting

Mary Poppins

Beloved nanny of many a 19th Century London children was arrested on Thursday for her flying while under the influence. Pilots landing at London’s Heathrow airport reported seeing a lady floating aimlessly through the sky while carrying an umbrella. The RAF requested several times over radio for the flying women to identify herself or risk being engaged by RAF eurofighter Typhoons. Mary Poppins only sang … Continue reading Mary Poppins

The Crimes Of Janet Yellen

Janet Yellen was arrested yesterday on a plethora of charges, ranging from 1st degree murder to mail fraud. According to the FBI, Janet was laundering money from her drug cartel in Mexico, through various Swiss and Cayman accounts to her personal Bank of America account.   Authorities to notice when thousands of money transfers, all 9,999 USD were going into her account at fifteen minute … Continue reading The Crimes Of Janet Yellen