Ask Brent: Grain, Industrialization

Today’s question comes to us from Joe S..  He writes: What is the most effective way of taking grain from Kulaks?  And how do I industrialize my country in, oh, let’s say 5 years? Your assistance to the Party will be noted in the survival of your immediate family. Ah, an excellent question, Joe, and one I am asked quite frequently. You see, Joe, the … Continue reading Ask Brent: Grain, Industrialization

Ask Brent: Greatest Thinker

This week’s question comes to us from Ronald R.  He writes: Hey Brent! I’ve been working on a project for school, and I was wondering:  who was the greatest thinker of all time?  Any help would be much appreciated! Your man, Ronald R. An excellent question, Ron.  Especially in this day and age of great minds like Stephen Hawking and Beyoncé, how are we supposed … Continue reading Ask Brent: Greatest Thinker

Ask Brent: Scary Movies?

Today’s question comes to us from Maya Sodenbacher (SS: 992-02-1263): Brent, What scary movies should I watch for Halloween?  I know that there’s a list on Netflix or some shit but my cousin’s friend changed the password so I can’t get in anymore.  Any help would be much appreciated. Best, Maya A very important question, Maya.  Not what I would consider pertinent, but… interesting I … Continue reading Ask Brent: Scary Movies?

Ask Brent: Should I See “It”?

This week’s question comes from T. Cruz of Texas.  He writes: Hello, Brent.  I have a very pressing question to ask this week:  should I watch the new version of Stephen King’s “It” in theaters, should I wait until it hits Blu-Ray and watch it at home with my cat and children, or should I not watch it at all seeing as how it’s communist … Continue reading Ask Brent: Should I See “It”?

Ask Brent: Phones, Neighbors

Jarvis asks: I’m not sure about how phones work. How do they work? Also, why are my neighbors so rude? A very good question, Jarvis. Phones actually make use of a special government technology called ‘squidging’ to function.  Squidging was first developed in 1967 by a Polish scientist named Nicolli Reznikoff in an attempt to create a teleportation machine.  Though Reznikoff was found several days later in … Continue reading Ask Brent: Phones, Neighbors