Ask Brent: Phones, Neighbors

Jarvis asks: I’m not sure about how phones work. How do they work? Also, why are my neighbors so rude? A very good question, Jarvis. Phones actually make use of a special government technology called ‘squidging’ to function.  Squidging was first developed in 1967 by a Polish scientist named Nicolli Reznikoff in an attempt to create a…

Ask Brent: Why is snow white?

P. Escobar asks: Brent, why is snow white? Why is Snow White?  Some might respond: Because magic, because magic. The shocking truth, however, is that Snow White isn’t—and never was. Cutting-edge research has revealed that Snow White actually never existed.  Says nursery school teacher Marsha Thomson, “Yes…?”  (Her inflection cannot be stressed enough; it was…

Ask Brent: Politicians, Quasicentric Cyst

This week’s question comes from Paul.  He writes: Why are politicians old? And what does a qausicentric cyst on my abdomen mean for me? Studies from the Centers for Demographic Research (CDR) have shown consistently over the last several decades that politicians are majority ‘old’ (a term here defined as over the age of 65,…

Ask Brent: Why do they call me Big Tom?

This week’s question comes from Big Tom in Arkansas: Why do they call me Big Tom? Surely an important question in this day and age, Big Tom. Experts say that the name Tom was originally created in 1940 for the cartoon character Tom Cat of Tom and Jerry.  Says anthropologist Marci Albertson of the University of Washington,…

Ask Brent: What’s the deal with pennies?

George Takei from Los Angeles, California writes: Hello, Brent! I’m just wondering, what’s the deal with pennies?  I mean, c’mon!  Why don’t they just make prices whole numbers?  It just frees up old ladies to collect change like it’s the Depression again and pay for their antibacterial soap and Nicorette gum in exact change (that’s…

Ask Brent: Who Likes Licorice?

This week’s question comes from Stacy T. in Kansas City, Missouri.  She writes: Hey Brent! Who actually likes licorice?  I mean, I only eat it when I’m at grandma’s because it’s either that or cookies that are hard as the Devil’s nipples, but clearly somebody’s buying it.  So who’s actually buying it and why? A great question, Stacy.…