Today’s question comes to us from Joe S.. He writes: What is the most effective way of taking grain from Kulaks? And how do I industrialize my country in, oh, let’s say 5 years? Your assistance to the Party will be noted in the survival of your immediate family. Ah, an excellent question, Joe, and one I am asked quite frequently. You see, Joe, the … Continue reading Ask Brent: Grain, Industrialization
This week’s question comes to us from Ronald R. He writes: Hey Brent! I’ve been working on a project for school, and I was wondering: who was the greatest thinker of all time? Any help would be much appreciated! Your man, Ronald R. An excellent question, Ron. Especially in this day and age of great minds like Stephen Hawking and Beyoncé, how are we supposed … Continue reading Ask Brent: Greatest Thinker
Today’s question comes to us from Maya Sodenbacher (SS: 992-02-1263): Brent, What scary movies should I watch for Halloween? I know that there’s a list on Netflix or some shit but my cousin’s friend changed the password so I can’t get in anymore. Any help would be much appreciated. Best, Maya A very important question, Maya. Not what I would consider pertinent, but… interesting I … Continue reading Ask Brent: Scary Movies?
I watched IT this weekend so I wouldn’t have to go to my son’s parole hearing. And though he was ultimately not granted parole, I did learn a lot about what constitutes a “bathing suit” according to AMC’s “theater-goer rules and regulations.” Now, as far as how it compares to the original, I honestly have nothing to say; I didn’t read the book because it … Continue reading Ask Brent: IT
Apple is trying to keep me from texting and driving. Look, I get it. “Don’t txt+drv.” I’ve seen the signs along the highway (their flashing lights are so distracting that I sometimes even look up from my Pokémon GO). Here’s all I’m saying though: Why shouldn’t I be able to enjoy a nice TED talk about some guy who remixed a bunch of other TED … Continue reading Brent: New iOS?
This week’s question comes from T. Cruz of Texas. He writes: Hello, Brent. I have a very pressing question to ask this week: should I watch the new version of Stephen King’s “It” in theaters, should I wait until it hits Blu-Ray and watch it at home with my cat and children, or should I not watch it at all seeing as how it’s communist … Continue reading Ask Brent: Should I See “It”?
Jarvis asks: I’m not sure about how phones work. How do they work? Also, why are my neighbors so rude? A very good question, Jarvis. Phones actually make use of a special government technology called ‘squidging’ to function. Squidging was first developed in 1967 by a Polish scientist named Nicolli Reznikoff in an attempt to create a teleportation machine. Though Reznikoff was found several days later in … Continue reading Ask Brent: Phones, Neighbors