The Implications of Independence

We here at the Colomen were shocked when we learned that Catalonia had voted in favor of independence. Independence is a natural progression in all our lives and of all organism, whether biological or political. Whether it is an adolescent’s exit from the home of his/her progenitors or the type of referendum we see taking…

Mary Poppins

Beloved nanny of many a 19th Century London children was arrested on Thursday for her flying while under the influence. Pilots landing at London’s Heathrow airport reported seeing a lady floating aimlessly through the sky while carrying an umbrella. The RAF requested several times over radio for the flying women to identify herself or risk…

The Crimes Of Janet Yellen

Janet Yellen was arrested yesterday on a plethora of charges, ranging from 1st degree murder to mail fraud. According to the FBI, Janet was laundering money from her drug cartel in Mexico, through various Swiss and Cayman accounts to her personal Bank of America account.   Authorities to notice when thousands of money transfers, all…

Implications Of A Study Shock Researchers

Researchers at the University of Research in Watonga, Oklahoma announced the results of their groundbreaking research today at a press conference in the parking lot of the now closed Wiggees Burger Ranch in downtown Watonga. Lead researcher, Jose Luis “Lucky” Rodriguez (an ex-Jet Propulsion Laboratory janitor fired for his “complicated” immigration status), told reporters, who…

Catfish: Cats or Fish?

It is widely known that cats have a strong dislike for water. When you throw water at them they run. I conduct an empirical study of this hypothesis using a glass of water, and my cat. The results further confirmed my hypothesis. In three trials, when water was dropped from my water glass onto my…

Putin To Summit All G20 Members

The Kremlin released a statement yesterday claiming that Russian President Vladimir Putin, would be the first world leader to summit all of the G20 members. The announcement comes after days of extreme scrutiny towards Russia whose connections with American President have raised many eyebrows. The Russian president is known for his theatrics. A shirtless Vlad…