Zebras: Cocky Horses

A recent investigation by the Equestrian Society in Fresno, California, found that zebras are actually just horses, but just super pretentious about it. “Yeah, they have, like, the same genetic makeup and everything, they just think they’re better than everybody else,” said researcher Kyle McLannahan, an avid horse-enthusiast. “They prance around like they own the place, trying to get attention for how pretty their fur … Continue reading Zebras: Cocky Horses

Books: Weapons of the Enemy?

Since the beginning of time, books have been used to confuse and manipulate the weak and the simple-minded. Take the Bible, for example.  It is and has always been the worldwide best-seller.  Why?  Is the writing particularly good?  Any fourth-grader will tell you otherwise.  Does it elicit any sense of self-understanding or emotional enlightenment?  Clearly not. And yet it continues to fill the pockets of … Continue reading Books: Weapons of the Enemy?

Your Monday Briefing

Good morning. Here’s what you need to know: 1. Emmys Last Night The liberal Hollywood elites convened again last night to make a joke of the American people. Host Stephen Colbert began his monologue by expressionlessly flipping of the camera for seventeen minutes straight. 2. Senate Republicans enjoy Totino’s pizza rolls. 3. There’s, like, some tornado or something somewhere. I don’t know, my Google’s stuck … Continue reading Your Monday Briefing