The Smoking Man

He took a puff of his cigarillo and walked up to the line and took his place He looked to his left at the man who always stood next to him every day and simply nodded he glanced down a caught a glimpse of the great serpent it spat yellow venom. He zipped his trousers,…

Mr. Oak

And the leaves fell from the mighty oak And I said to him, “Mr. Oak, why do drop your belongings?”   “Well child,” he replied “They become too heavy to carry”   And I said to him, “Well Mr.Oak, why collect them in the first place?”   He then took his branch and struck me…

The Illiterate Man

What does this say? I asked the illiterate man I did not know that he was illiterate and he did not know what it said   The newspaper read “The Thane has Returned!” Everyone knew But the man did not know for he could not read for he was illiterate   Sir, I cannot read!…

The Turtle

The little boy stared at the pond the clear water he saw the fishes swimming the turtle lay dormant at the bottom   He licked his lolly the rainbow colored treat scrumptious and sweet he looked into the pond the fish were gone   the turtle looked at the boy “Why have you no bread?”…

BREAKING: Jesus Was White!

Recent findings from researchers in Israel have further proven an already widely-believed fact: Jesus was white. Jedediah Rawles from Arkansas, an avid church-goer and “follower of fuckin’ Jesus” led the research team. “Yup, Jesus is white. I saw him last night. I was with some buds and I passed out. Woke up and saw fuckin’…

The Monkey’s Tail

It was dark, and the earth quaked. The ground was cracked The Monkey’s tail was severed blood rushed from the hole   I lifted it by the scruff of the neck it shrieked I cast it to the ground in horror it clawed at my legs I cut its throat with my dagger   Under…

Autism And Other Mental Disabilities

Recently, one of our writers at The Colomen was diagnosed with Autism. That writer, The Illuminator, has suspected for years that he was Autistic, but was never diagnosed. This made us ask some questions here at the office. The first: What is Autism? Autism is a mental disability where the sufferer wants as much attention as…