Ask Brent: Greatest Thinker

This week’s question comes to us from Ronald R.  He writes: Hey Brent! I’ve been working on a project for school, and I was wondering:  who was the greatest thinker of all time?  Any help would be much appreciated! Your man, Ronald R. An excellent question, Ron.  Especially in this day and age of great minds like Stephen Hawking and Beyoncé, how are we supposed … Continue reading Ask Brent: Greatest Thinker

Musings on The Filibuster

The Senate is a political organism we are all familiar with; it looms over the US government, casting its long shadow into every function of the state–except the ones that matter (e.g. torture). It is nearly omnipotent, weighing in on all matter from the next supreme court justice to the activities of private citizens. It commands from above forging a path for nations to follow. … Continue reading Musings on The Filibuster

Trump to Declare War on Hurricanes

In an bill submitted today to the Foreign Relations House Committee by Rep. Smithson (R-Texas) contained the outline for President Trump declaration of War on Hurricanes. According to sources familiar with the matter Trump was influenced by similar declarations of war on ambiguous concepts such as LBJ’s War on Poverty and Liberal’s War on Christmas. The bill, which will be read tomorrow, allocates 750 billion … Continue reading Trump to Declare War on Hurricanes

Ask Brent: Scary Movies?

Today’s question comes to us from Maya Sodenbacher (SS: 992-02-1263): Brent, What scary movies should I watch for Halloween?  I know that there’s a list on Netflix or some shit but my cousin’s friend changed the password so I can’t get in anymore.  Any help would be much appreciated. Best, Maya A very important question, Maya.  Not what I would consider pertinent, but… interesting I … Continue reading Ask Brent: Scary Movies?

The Latest from Salman Rushdie: “The Golden House” reviewed

“The Golden House”, recently published by Random House (coincidence?), is Salman Rushdie’s attempt at writing a great American novel. The book, rather his thirteenth attempt at one, features many characters and takes place in New York and Mumbai. Now, I’m going to be honest with you, that is really all I know about it. You see, I never actually finished reading the fucker. It was … Continue reading The Latest from Salman Rushdie: “The Golden House” reviewed

My Son Prefers Chewy Bacon to Crispy Bacon: What Does This Mean?

It was 8:30 a.m, Sunday morning, and my son (who is 8) comes down from his room for breakfast. As I sit at my kitchen table, reading the collection of Breitbart articles I printed off the internet and combined into my own home-made magazine, my maid comes over and sets the table. She had prepared pancakes, along with home fries and bacon. However, my maid … Continue reading My Son Prefers Chewy Bacon to Crispy Bacon: What Does This Mean?