This week’s question comes to us from Ronald R. He writes: Hey Brent! I’ve been working on a project for school, and I was wondering: who was the greatest thinker of all time? Any help would be much appreciated! Your man, Ronald R. An excellent question, Ron. Especially in this day and age of great minds like Stephen Hawking and Beyoncé, how are we supposed … Continue reading Ask Brent: Greatest Thinker
The Senate is a political organism we are all familiar with; it looms over the US government, casting its long shadow into every function of the state–except the ones that matter (e.g. torture). It is nearly omnipotent, weighing in on all matter from the next supreme court justice to the activities of private citizens. It commands from above forging a path for nations to follow. … Continue reading Musings on The Filibuster
In an bill submitted today to the Foreign Relations House Committee by Rep. Smithson (R-Texas) contained the outline for President Trump declaration of War on Hurricanes. According to sources familiar with the matter Trump was influenced by similar declarations of war on ambiguous concepts such as LBJ’s War on Poverty and Liberal’s War on Christmas. The bill, which will be read tomorrow, allocates 750 billion … Continue reading Trump to Declare War on Hurricanes
Thin blades of grass tickle my legs as I sit silently under the tree The evening sun set in the west and I looked over my shoulder to the east Mother moon told me that the day was ending and so was the week and the month as well Not the year, however “Such is the nature of the Gregorian Calendar” I … Continue reading Mother Moon
Today’s question comes to us from Maya Sodenbacher (SS: 992-02-1263): Brent, What scary movies should I watch for Halloween? I know that there’s a list on Netflix or some shit but my cousin’s friend changed the password so I can’t get in anymore. Any help would be much appreciated. Best, Maya A very important question, Maya. Not what I would consider pertinent, but… interesting I … Continue reading Ask Brent: Scary Movies?
It was 8:30 a.m, Sunday morning, and my son (who is 8) comes down from his room for breakfast. As I sit at my kitchen table, reading the collection of Breitbart articles I printed off the internet and combined into my own home-made magazine, my maid comes over and sets the table. She had prepared pancakes, along with home fries and bacon. However, my maid … Continue reading My Son Prefers Chewy Bacon to Crispy Bacon: What Does This Mean?
I watched IT this weekend so I wouldn’t have to go to my son’s parole hearing. And though he was ultimately not granted parole, I did learn a lot about what constitutes a “bathing suit” according to AMC’s “theater-goer rules and regulations.” Now, as far as how it compares to the original, I honestly have nothing to say; I didn’t read the book because it … Continue reading Ask Brent: IT